lovemykilt | A conveniently openable crypt in the graveyard, Sunday afternoon

A conveniently openable crypt in the graveyard, Sunday afternoon

True to his word -- he was noble like that, when he wasn't replaced by an evil twin or going around thinking he was just a voice in someone else's head -- Priestly had met up with the beautiful Dinah at the church last night. One might think that they were going to elope -- so romantic! -- but if that had been their plan, they'd gotten immediately sidetracked, hiding out in a crypt in the graveyard to . . .

Well, let's say "consumate their love."

Over. And over. And over again.

Really, you'd think it was sweeps week.

[ooc: for she who is mentioned and lightly modded with permission in the post. Also, FYI, star crossed lovers end tragically herein. No, really, with, like, suicide and stuff]

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Dinah snuggled closer to her Boaz, hair artfully mussed, clearly wearing nothing but a conveniently placed over-large... parka? Strangely, that had provided enough warmth last night, as well as shielding them from the cold of the various marble surfaces around the crypt.

"That was wonderful, honey. Just like the last four times." She happily traced the tattoo on his neck. "Maybe we can just stay here forever!"

Because they were so happy in the crypt!

"You have the best ideas," Priestly murmured smittenly. "We could order Chinese. They deliver to graveyards, right?"

"Of course. This is Fandom." She snickered against his chest. "They probably deliver blood to vampires, too." She sighed in romantic fulfillment. (No. Really.That's what she called it, inside her head.)

"I did tell Momoko, though. She's my best friend and a superhero and she's tragically parted from her love and she supports whatever plans we have, she just has to find her True Love in Texas. Or she'd be here. Helping me get into a white gown." However inappropriate that would be, at this point.

"I'm sure she'd never betray your trust," Priestly said. "Seeing as she's your best friend and tragically parted from her love. I can't wait to see you in white, and lace and flowers and then nothing at all all over again on the wedding night."

In fact, maybe they could just skip the wedding night? That'd be fun.

"She said she's ready to love you like a brother already!" Dinah confided, bursting with glee. "And you'll be in a tux and then nothing else but your tatts." She kissed one and beamed at him. "Plan!"

Hey, they were already married in the sight of... Someone. Right?

"And I'll be proud to call her sister." D'awwwwww. "Oh, I wish we never had to leave this cozy little spot ever."

"But it doesn't come with a shower or a heart-shaped bath-tub," Dinah pointed out, somewhat sensibly, doing a 180 from what she'd said before. Unbelievably enough. "So, a honeymoon suite in the hotel is probably a good idea... And we'll never leave that!" she decided. "I hate the dry cleaning business anyway! We'll just be together all the time instead!"

Edited 2012-11-04 20:30 (UTC)

"I never wanted to be a dry cleaner, anyway. Also those nasty chemicals. And the smells." He sighed melodramatically. "But a heart shaped tub sounds perfect. You're clearly the most clever, beautiful woman in the world."

They'd get around to getting up eventually. There were L-shaped sheets to procure, after all.

Alas, it seemed they'd run out of time! The door slammed open with an angry BANG, and a figure stood silhouetted in the doorway. A figure entirely unmistakable.

"Get your filthy Lance-ing hands off my son!"

It was Pinkie Pie Priestly, matron of the Priestly Dry Cleaning dynasty. And she had vengeance in her eyes.

Dinah Gasped, hiding behind the convenient parka and Priestly. Mostly. "YOUR MOM!"

No, wait, that sounded like she meant... "I mean, Boaz, it's your mother!! Oh no! How did you find us?!"

"Mother!" Priestly said, arm stretched protectively in front of his love, which happened to attractively display his well-formed chest and abs. "It doesn't matter how you found us. What matters is that you know the truth! I'm in love with Dinah Lance, and I don't care any more who knows!"

Pinkie gasped in horror. "But -- she's a Lance! Boaz, my child, you don't know what you're saying! It's a good thing I hired that private detective to follow you on principle all those years ago, or I might never have found you two in time!"

"You're a terrible mother!" The parka was slipping as Dinah tried to step forward, which showed off her very attractive legs, but nothing that would get an MA rating. "How dare you invade his privacy like this! Boaz hates the dry cleaning business! He loves me! And I love him! We've known it since the second we met!" Dinah sobbed and pressed closer to the well-muscled and righteous young man next to her. "We're going to be married, and you can't stop us!"

"That's right, Mother! I'm disowning you and the family business. Dinah and her friends will be my family, now. If you ever truly loved me, you'd give us your blessing!"

"I'll bless you, alright," Pinkie said, lifting one hoof to reveal something dark and dangerous clutched within. "I'll bless you right out of existence for this betrayal. You're dead to me, and now you'll be dead to your beloved harlot as well!"

She aimed the gun right at her son's heart and fired.

"NO!" Dinah shrieked, throwing herself in front of Priestly and mostly losing her grip on the parka. "...urk."

Blood was leaking through the parka. Uh-oh.

"P-Priestly...?"

"Dinah?" Priestly clutched at her, coincidentally helping to hold the parka on just enough to keep her decently covered. "Dinah!" Blood? How could this be? "Mother, what have you done?"

Pinkie blinked and lowered her hoof back to the ground.

"Huh," she said. "Well, that works okay, too." And she trotted out, "lalala"ing a cheerful tune as she went.

Leaving the gun behind on the crypt threshold.

"Boaz," Dinah said, reaching a trembling blood-smeared hand to his face. "Is it getting dark...? And cold? And really really painful?" She coughed lightly, a little blood on her lips. "I think... I think this is... I love you, sweetheart. I'm... not sorry... I met you..."

Priestly clutched her to his bare chest, unmindful of the blood, a single, artful tear trailing its way from the corner of his eye.

That was a skill entire careers were made on, it was.

"Dinah. Dinah, my love, don't leave me. It'll all be okay, you'll see."

It might, even, if he bothered to, say, call 911 or do anything to stop the bleeding. But while manfully carrying her into the clinic would be dramatic, their contracts didn't last that long.

The trembling fingers finally made contact with Boaz's face, then trailed down to his chest. "I can feel your heart beating... louder than mine. I'll never, ever, ever, ever leave you. Even when I'm dead... I'll still be with you. I'll be in your dreams, in your heart, I know it. Like the ghost of a memory."

Sweet. If macabre. Going for the Emmy here, folks.

Dinah started to close her eyes, breath catching.

"No, no, Dinah, open your eyes. Don't go to sleep. Just stay awake, okay? My dove, my only, please, please!" Like a prince in a fairy tale, Priestly leaned down to place a (surprisingly chaste, they were going for tender here, the risque was earlier) kiss on her lips. "Please," he sobbed.

And squeezed out another single tear of manpain.

It really was an accomplishment. You had to give him that.

Dinah drew a choking breath. "I wish... we could have gotten... to Vegas. I wish... we could have had that ... wedding. I wish... I wish..."

Your mother hadn't shot me. This blows.

"...we'd had children... and ended the feud... and brought our two families together... and, and..." Dinah kissed him back, eyes closing. "I'm sorry, Boaz. I love you."

"NO!" It was short (thus avoiding any copyright drama with the Skywalkers), but heartfelt. Priestly clutched her tighter to his chest, then looked up at the statue which had loomed so far unnoticed over them the whole time. "Great-grandfather Percival Pie Priestly, why? Why did you start this terrible feud? Why couldn't you let old Luther Lance have the dry cleaning business?! Dinah! Dinah!"

"Boaz..."

Dinah went completely limp, and the parka started to slip some more.

Sorry, Priestly. All that blood loss. All that Drama. She held out as long as she could.

An eerie light shone through into the crypt, a breeze kicked up, and it was like Dinah's ghost was there. Sort of.

"No." It was a whisper this time -- lets get those viewers leaning way in -- as Priestly buried his head in Dinah's hair. "I can't do this without you by my side," he said, lifting his head again now to the ceiling. "I won't."

He snapped his head to the side, looking at the gun Pinkie had conveniently left behind "If you're leaving, then so am I." He grabbed up the gun, still clutching Dinah in his other hand. "It's -- it's still warm. Dinah, can you feel it? How can it be warm when you're so cold? This is --" he sobbed, gasping for breath. "This is how it's meant to be." He pressed one more kiss to Dinah's lips, then lifted the gun, placing the barrel under his chin. He looked up at the sky -- or the ceiling of the crypt, whichever, viewers weren't going to care about the little details, any more.

"We'll never have to deliver dry cleaning again."

BANG.

Music! Lights! A symbolic shine of dew on roses!.... Fade to black.

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A conveniently openable crypt in the graveyard, Sunday afternoon

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