lovemykilt | Beach City Grill, Santa Cruz, Saturday

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Beach City Grill, Santa Cruz, Saturday

"I don't know, man," Priestly was saying. "I just really have the urge to watch a whole bunch of reality TV."

"What, like The Bachelor?" Tish asked.

"Mythbusters," Jen guessed.

"I like Food Network," said Piper. When they all looked at her, she shrugged. "What? I like to cook."

Priestly shook himself. "Man, that will never stop being weird." He grinned. "You know, we should totally do our own reality show. Like The Real World or Big Brother only with subs --"

He was cut off by the bell over the door. Two polo shirted, schwoopy haired preppy looking dudes walked in, paused in the doorway, and lifted their sunglasses.

"Oh look," Priestly muttered. "Synchronized douchebags." Tish shot him a death glare as she snatched the order pad from Piper, and he pretended to refocus on his grill.

"What can I get you?" Tish asked the khaki twins.

"We phoned it in," said the brunette. "Two spicy Italian subs."

Tish shifted against the counter and looked him over. "How big?"

"Ten. Inches."

"Total?"

The brunette smirked. "Each, of course." The blonde nodded like a bobblehead. Priestly rolled his eyes. Tish let out a pleased sigh. Priestly rolled his eyes even harder.

Piper held the two subs up and waited patiently for Tish to break eye contact with the brunette long enough to notice.

"I'm Tish," Tish said, with a breathy exhale. She passed the subs over.

The brunette pulled out a twenty like he was paying a cheap hooker, took the subs, and left. Tish sighed again and swooned.

"Did that work for anyone else?"

Priestly feigned a swoon of his own. "Oh totally!" he said. Tish smacked him with a towel.

[ooc: second half ripped right out of canon. Open for SP phone calls and the like.]

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"'Objects in space: Sartre and the separation of meaning from symbol,'" Dinah read off. "DeBeauvoir and the Second Sex; a comparison. Platonic Ideals and the Theory of forms." Dinah whimpered. "Help help help help... the last course was just good and evil and ethics and that was fine! This is not!"

"Okay, first step is breathe. They sound scary, but that's why you're taking the class. They don't expect you to get it immediately. When you take a souffle class, they know the first three are going to collapse on you."

Dinah gulped and sat down, still staring at the screen. "Okay. Okay, point. I just-- I don't get why I need to know this for a Criminal Justice degree. They don't explain that here."

". . . It'll help you better understand the criminal mind?" Yeah, he totally just pulled that one out of his ass. "You totally know way more about criminal justicey things than I do, but I'm pretty sure understanding theories about the nature of the world and human-kind is just a bonus no matter what you do."

"Please, like you understand human-kind," Tish said.

"Now Tish, it's not that I don't understand, it's that I use my powers for good instead of evil."

A napkin bounced off Priestly's forehead and he grinned. "Tish says 'hi'," he told Dinah.

"HI TISH!" Dinah called, laughing, relaxing a bit more. "Okay, so this is... the baseline. Right. So. So I can take this, and figure out from here, how we get the Riddler dressing in green and purple and posing stupid riddles to hostages." Put like that, it was intimidating, but it at least had a goal.

"That's the dude who kidnapped us that one time, right?"

Behind Priestly, the entire shop exchanged glances again. Kidnapped?

Jen and Trucker, who'd known Priestly the longest and had a bit more experience with his weirdness, shrugged. They'd learned it was better not to ask.

"Yes, exactly." Okay, she could do this. She could do this! ... she had to do this. "How's everybody? How's Not-Karla working out? And did you go looking for an art class yet? Tattoo college is a lot more expensive than you'd think."

"It's good. Piper's good. She's actually an artist herself!" Piper flashed him a smile, a little weirded out by him going from "kidnapped" to "Piper's an artist" that fast. Priestly looked over. "Hey, you wanna be my art teacher?"

". . . Not if you want me to teach you how to paint people peeing on each other?"

Priestly nodded. "Word." He pulled the phone back up to his chin. "I'm still looking it. You should find a tattoo shop willing to let you be an apprentice."

"If nothing else, it would be cool to know about that part of New Gotham. Plus I bet I can turn it into some kind of extra-credit deal." Dinah grinned. "What was that about people peeing on each other? Was that one artist guy gonna be exhibiting there?"

"Just a conversation we were having. Did you know people pissing on the Pope isn't controversial any more?"

"I did not," Dinah said soberly. Lips twitching. "He said he was okay with it?"

Priestly grinned. "Dude." He twisted around to look at Trucker. "Dinah wants to know if the Pope said he was cool with being pissed on, and that's why it's not controversial any more."

Trucker laughed.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes."

"We have to check these things!" Dinah claimed. "But I think that means I'll be missing out on some art for a while. At least, this newly non-controversial art... Besides, art here in New Gotham sometimes involves crime. It's hard to be clear about this stuff."

"That's it!" Priestly announced. "I'll take a graffiti class!"

Dinah hooted, and facepalmed, laughing. "Priestly! I didn't mean that as a suggestion!"

"Then you should have known better than to say it!" Priestly grinned. "We'd be, like, a team. I'll graffiti walls, and you can graffiti people!"

With the tattoo gun. Look, it worked in his head.

"So now we're artistic outlaws? Beautifying American one limb and one wall at a time?"

"Like a colorful Bonnie and Clyde," Priestly agreed.

"Okay, seriously," said Piper. "Who is this woman?"

Priestly rolled his eyes and pulled the phone away from his mouth. "Oh come on, men and women can totally be friends, okay?"

Even when they also totally had sexual tension at their twenty year reunion.

"Was that Piper again? It's not our fault there's no platonic friend famous robbers who are different sexes," Dinah agreed, protesting.

Not too much! Just enough. Jeez. Twenty year reunion was twenty years off!

"...actually, that's kind of an argument to do it. There needs to be more BFF's who are famous. Crime's one way to go."

"That's her. It's uncanny, right?" Priestly grinned. "And that's the best idea, ever. Although . . . wait, would you being a criminal be a conflict of interest? I don't wanna be the reason you become a supervillain."

"It kinda would. Although? I could be an anti-heroine," Dinah speculated. "Helena's mom did it for years. Which also apparently makes you way hotter to male superheroes too." Ooooooo. "When I'm up for that stuff again. I think you get a slinkier suit for it. And oh oh oh we'd get you a mask! Or make-up as a mask!"

". . . Wait, are you trying to make me hotter to male superheros?"

Everyone in the shop had, by this point, given up on the rest of his conversation as being hopelessly nerdy. Except Jen. Jen was wondering if Priestly had a stash of comic books hidden at home that she'd never found.

It kind of *was* nerdy. Just also overlapping into that special level of 'insane' that crimefighting included when you weren't a LARPer.

"No, no, I promise, I'm not trying to set you up any more," Dinah teased. "I swore off that! And I don't think you want to date the male superheroes I know. They have Issues." Capitalization audible.

"Unless you have someone else in mind?" Hmmm?

"I tried that once," Priestly admitted. "I mean, he wasn't a superhero, but there was kissage. Remember Jack?"

And Jen, Tish, Piper, and Trucker all swiveled their heads to look at him again.

"It wasn't my thing," Priestly continued. "But if Helena wanted to give me a run at a female superhero. . . ."

Yeah, by now that was pretty much all for show. Priestly knew Helena would eat him alive, if nothing else.

"I'll pass along the usual bi-annual request," Dinah told him. "I think your number could come up around 2014 or so, when they do the next random drawing for her Stalker Club."

Seriously, sometimes it was just... weird, to have an older sister who made *all* guys stare at her. Dinah still had no idea how she did it.

Aside from being completely confident and gorgeous. Right.

"And yeah, I remember the thing with Jack. And him with pink hair. Heh. At least I didn't end up dying my hair black to make Sam happy."

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